Deconstructing The Partridge Family





Since the seventies, I have had a lot of time to think and reflect on the T.V. staple, The Partridge Family…okay, I have just had a lot of time on my hands. In any case, during my continual musings, I always come back to one essential point about that show: Reuben Kincaid was an extremely pathetic manager. The man forced the Partridges to travel around in some condemned schoolbus, on tour forced all five of them to share the same hotel room, and often booked them to play lame charity events on behalf of whales. Who was this, Reuben kincaid? I wonder who else was in Kincaid's glorious stable of clients, "Josie and the Pussycats"?…Did Kincaid also mishandle the brief gospel career of T.V.'s "Urkel"?

Another thing which always bothered me was the predominance of "Keith", David Cassidy. Why was he the star?…He never struck me as a great talent. He did not exactly come across as a brilliant lyricist, one capable of conveying his most private thoughts to paper. I always felt even the seven year old Kevin or Tracy were more insightful and capable of more evocative lyrics. And why did this idiot Keith always grab center stage? The guy would always be cheesily strutting into the audience and singing a song into the eyes of some smitten teen. I think it would have been funny if one day, as Keith was strutting and hamming it up, a woman in the audience suddenly were to reach over and spray a can of Binaca breath spray into his mouth. Then, gradually do to this unfortunate breath spray incident, Keith would have fallen out of public favor and Reuben Kincaid would have to insist on a big shake up in the band's roster: Bonaduce on lead vocals, Shirley Jones on bass, and lastly David Cassidy would be left to stupidly wail away on the tambourine.

Another thing which ruined the effect of The Partridge Family was the constant presence of the mother, the always matronly Shirly Jones. It completely shatters the whole fantasy of being in a successful pop group if your mother is up on stage with you. I mean how cool would Mick Jagger be if his mother jumped on stage with him during a live show and patted him on the head?

In the months to come, please watch for my complex views on such quality shows as "Small Wonder" "Joannie Loves Chachi" and "Cop Rock".